did i told u guys tat my dream is to get married? seriously.. every1's ambition were diff for example my 3 kam cheng: wendy wanted to b a dancer,karen wanted 2 b a singer,mei yen's dream is to earn lots of lots of money n mine? i just wan a guy,who loves me n hav my own family tat simple i got no ambition at all,no those teacher,businessman,model...
recently i found out i gav up my dream i dare not dream anymore i quit!!!! stop dreaming bout wedding's,kids...future hse wife... GONE everything
who made me do so? lukas? nope is me myself... last few week i went G6 had few drinks,chit chat,see see(not fishing)^^ frankie n i, we had a lil chat out @ the balcony.i hav no idea how we end up discussing bout marriage tis issue,it came out from no whr!!! okok...let me recall it bak.....( tik tok tik tok....rewind.....) oh ya, he asked y i gav up on love... (then skip skip skip....) long story la.. overall thnx 2 frankie i woke up ask urself wat marriage meant to u? a contract? both party loves each other is much more important than a stupid contract tat we name it as marriage. u can get married n easily u can divorce tomorrow rite?
another point is we cant predict not only future but tomorrow can u tell me how ur sunday(tomolo) will be? i can be death tomorrow,im serious
i skip few treatment since tioman im not playing v my life neither my health im just busy ( ok,u'll be thinkin like ya rite bz konon...!) i stop taking med,excersice n healthy meals meaningless doin so much while u dun even noe,wats goin on the next day! my body starts to be weaker n weaker my breathing getting heavier n heavier n guess wat my fingers starts 2 cramp i am affair to be dead but at tis point if God wants me,i hav 2 accept rite?
i am tired getting sick sick of those medicine,injections... tis few days i did ask myself wat did i achieve for so long? NONE i onli noe how 2 make ppl worry bout me useless rite? i dare not tell any1 how i felt like brendan said : Sometimes, you just cant tell anybody how you really feel, not bcus you dont know why, not bcus you dont know your purpose, not bcus yount dont trust them, But bcus you cant find the right words to make them Understand
u understand how i felt after lukas left? u understand how i felt living tis sick body? u understand how i hav 2 act strong in front of every1 while im not? i hav 2 swallow all those tears n words by myself every nite i slept v tears
am i lonely? im surrounded by ppl but i cant feel safe at all some times i dun dare 2 stay in hse,i dun1 mum 2 worry bout me few times i end up driving in highway driving to no were n few times i drove to his place. not on purpose,just tat my brain gps lead me thr did i saw him? nope not once since we broke up everytime also mid nite,ppl also close shop dy la
11.13pm 25 sept 2010- i think at tis time he shud be closing tat shop dy.. wondering wat wil he be doin after. will he forget bout our relationship? will he forget bout tat 4 months ago he did told me he loves me? will he forget bout me? will he? i am afraid of he'll delete me from his memory
Profolio.
Nevermind what haters say
Ignore them 'til they fade away
Amazing they ungreat for after
all the games I gave away
Safe to say I paved the way
for you can't get paid today
You still be wasting days away
had I never saved the day
Consider them my protégé how
much I think they should pay
Instead of being gracious
they violated and made you wait
